mine too

How old is he? I would also say that he is bored. Especially male cats play more rough then females. As humans don’t have thick fur to protect them, it hurts us more than other cats, if they play with us like they would with other cats.

I would also say to play alot with him. Best thing would be another cat companion if he lives alone. That way he can really play like cats do with each other.

But first you need to check if he has medical issues. Sometimes pain can cause such an behaviour.,

I agree to Laura. Sounds like she needs a vet. Is her tummy bloated? Does she try to vomit, without it working?
If this is bloat, she will die from it, if you don’t take he to a vet Depending on where you are from, try to find a vet, that makes a payment plan or seomething similar. Or maybe the Care Credit that Laura mentiuoned, but plkease take her to a vet..

Male kittens tend to play more rough than girls. Sometimes cuts happen and when they otherwise undertsand each other well and get along, if they are playing and enjoying each other I would just let them be.
Maybe trim their nails and offer things to sratch on.

I’m so sorry for your loss!

What did the vets do? What came out for the bloodwork (kidneys, liver, T4…?), did they do an x-ray or ultrasound? What’s with his ears? Did he stop eating first, or did the weakness/balance problems came first, any other symptoms?

She definitly needs a vet. If it really is her anus it maybe is her colon portruding. She needs an emergency vet. It also could be because of her pregnancy, that she tries to push to hard. If so she also needs an emergency vet.
No matter the cause, she can die without treatment.

Thanks a lot for your answer! It helps me a bit… In my head I know that most vets would have put her down after that finding inside of her… and that alone from what it looked like it had to be painful.

But still, there is that voice that tells me “you should have taken her home and made her the best days she ever had”. She would still be here,,, I could still cuddle her, hear her voice, feel her next to me. Yes maybe she would have died the next time either way, but I would have time to say good bye. While this maybe is true, how would she have died? Alone and in pain while I’m at work? That is not what I would want for her…
And than there is that tiny voice that tells me, that maybe her body would have found a way to build down that tumor and stop the bleeding, that maybe she would have weeks or months…

My head knows that the possibility for this is near zero… Maybe making her some good last days would have been the most logic decision… maybe I would have felt better… Or maybe I would ask myself then, that she maybe would have survived surgery if I had just tried it.

I guess no matter what my decision would have been, I would have felt guilty… I just want to know if my decision was right. And there is no definitive way of telling that…

Thanks so much for reading my long text… It somehow helps me to talk to people that udnerstand the pain…