Because I am a stickler for accuracy in language: If they’re a mix, then they aren’t purebred. The word “purebred” means an animal bred from parents of the same breed or variety. Because you have two different breeds involved, they are a mix.
That said…do they go outside? Have you taken a fecal sample to the vet annually? I give heartworm preventative 4x a year – my old man cat doesn’t go outside, and I get annual fecal and blood testing done for him. Get fecals and blood panels done, at the very least, to make sure everything’s good. Without a full picture of your cats’ health, you cannot make an educated decision on how to handle medications and the like.
So, there are just so many things wrong about your understanding of how a dog’s mind works in your description that I barely know where to start. Dogs don’t purposefully try to get humans into trouble like a tattletale. They are not that evolved.
The points that you have made indicate to me that this dog is truly afraid of the boyfriend – some thing he did years ago convinced her that she should be worried about him, and that has snowballed to what you see today. It may have been something as innocent as he stepped on her toes by accident. Dogs read body language and facial expressions better than we humans – and something as small as a look at her could compound her fear.
This is a very frustrating situation for you, and for the BF – you are both probably giving off negative energy without knowing it! She is picking up on the human frustration and it will only get worse if you don’t get some professional help.
And NOTHING you can do will solve this problem. It is a matter between your BF and your dog. So, you need to find a behaviorist that will come to your home and work with you, the BF and the dog. The behaviorist will be able to observe the dog and how you both interact with her and help you all find solutions to correct the situation. It is going to be a matter of your BF building trust with the dog. And since we can’t be there to watch the interaction, this forum isn’t going to be of much help other than by pointing you to professional, in-the-home, aid.
So, find someone that does positive training that can come to your home, and that you and your BF like so you can help your girl have the life she deserves – comfortable in her own home.
Thank you very much for your advice PK Dennis. I would love to have a behavioral therapist come to our home but the facts are even if I could find one in the immediate area, I couldn’t afford one hence the forum. Also PK, if you really want to help pet owners you probably shouldn’t start off with an insult or people are not likely to take your advice seriously. I’ve obviously stated that I’ve done extensive research on the topic as indicated in the post. I have seen other forums where advice was given & was lead to believe PAWBLY was one that might actually help. I am quite aware that dogs aren’t evolved enough to “tattletale” & that you can’t be here to see my dog’s behavior that’s why I described my dog’s actions. I have never done a forum before & if I wasn’t desperate I wouldn’t have come here. I am very aware that dogs since emotions & energies. Since neither the bf or pet are going anywhere anytime soon I need advice even if you cannot offer anything else. I’m specifically looking for people who have gone through similar situations & could offer any suggestions that helped in their personal situation that we could try!
Good luck with that – you need a trainer/behaviorist. Three and a half years – you haven’t solved it by now, you aren’t the going to be able to solve it on your own. Offer to barter with a trainer – clean Thier house, clean their kennel, what ever it takes to get the eyes and hands on help your dog needs to feel secure in her own home.
A dogs only going to be terrified of someone if that someone has hurt the dog id rethink thinking it’s the dog and not leave the boyfriend around the dog unsupervised
Well I have found 1 behavioral therapist in my area & she’s still an hour away. It’s pretty expensive since she’s like the only one in this area but I’ve emailed her in hopes of a barter. From what I’ve read she does in home therapy but I don’t know if she’ll drive this far. I feel like if I take my dog to her it may not work as well. It would feel like a trip to the vet for her, she would smell the fear and start shaking & shedding. Wish me luck! On a better note, when I told my partner my wish to have an a behavioral therapist come to our home to help them I feel like he’s made more of an effort to earn the dog’s trust. I feel like when I told him I posted on this forum for help it really struck home to him that I don’t just want to have to deal with the situation I want it to be better. I don’t know why posting for help is any different than our talks about the situation prior to my posting but whatever. Maybe he doesn’t want a stranger in our home. Oh well, that’s a temporary fear, my price, & a possible end to my Charlie’s fear!!! I’ve noticed some improvements since then! The two have been playing for sure whereas before she wouldn’t come near him & yesterday she came up to him! Granted it was no lap call but she let him pet her. I just feel like if he’s more onboard with the idea it will work better. I mean for a while I feel he had given up on mending their relationship. I think what scares her the most is bf’s voice he would never intentionally harm her. He talk too loud because he’s had a lot of hearing loss from his time in Iraq. We’ve been working on that in the meantime too & it helps but it is hard for him to know when his tone gets louder. I’m happier with the results so far but foster hopes that the therapist will understand & barter to come to our home.